feeling feisty

i am LOVING the new feist album, metals that came out last month. i honestly didn’t like any of it atĀ first, but after a few days, i started falling in love. now i am in a feisty phase, again, and loving it. this album, a cup of tea and some knitting go perfectly together.

 

these are my two favorite songs at the moment. yum.

enjoy!

xx,

b

how am i not myself?

hmmmm….. this has been on my mind a lot lately.

i am not myself when i let fear make my decisions.

i am not myself when i don’t use my voice.

i am not myself when i don’t give my all.

i am not myself when i live in my “story.”

and knowing this, it’s still scary as fu7k to be myself.

hmmmmmmmm……

and while i’m at it…..

i’m a stones girl.

always have been.

always will be.

i resonate with this song today, as it’s lightly misting outside and it’s starting to turn from summer to fall already here on the central coast.

this song is just marvelous. it is me.

and tori’s cover of angie. because i LOVE her too.

enjoy.

xx,

b

you say goodbye, and i say hello

i started this blog to keep up with new things in my business, the sweet b, and as you can see, it has really morphed into something else. part of that morphing was me letting go of my business and opening up to new possibilities. knitting and hooking has and remains to be one of my favorite things to do in the world. it’s how i relax, it’s how i stay sane, it’s a huge part of my creative process and who i am. making it a business and then letting it go has been such an amazing learning experience for me.

as i let go of this part of my life, i am saying hello to the next part.

i will be posting all of my remaining sweet things on etsy soon, so keep posted! and my blog is still here, so keep in touch, subscribe (scroll to the bottom to do so!)

thank you for your sweetness and i look forward to our new journey together.

xx,

b

scrub a dub dub

jojoba, coffee and raw sugar scrub

i’ve recently become hooked on scrubs. not the boy kind, but the yummy, scrubby, oily ones that i can run all over my body. i guess that could be a guy too, but still, not what i’m into.

so i made a few.

jojoba, epsom salt and lavender scrub.

first, a jojoba, epsom salt and lavender scrub. i tested it out last night and it was delicious. i woke up smelling yummy. (after i took this photo, i ground up dried lavender and added it to the mix!) salt has a lot of healing properties and lavender smells great and is so calming.

the second one i made is a jojoba, coffee and raw sugar scrub. also quite yummy. i think this would make a good morning scrub. also, after reading about coffee in scrubs, turns out it’s great for circulation amongst other things.

i’m hooked! i am also looking forward to seeing if omitting soap (except for the parts that need it!) and using scrubs will help my skin re-hydrate. living in socal (both the hard water and dryness) make my skin a little dryer than i would like. my hair and skin miss the light humidity and soft water in portland, but since i live here, i’ll make it work.

xx,

b

keep it on the dl

sometimes, taking care of myself is going off the grid. like taking a secret trip up to portland.

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the weather was amazing. cloudy and cool in the morning. sunny and warm in the afternoon/evenings.

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sometimes lonely.

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sometimes not.

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i painted with my friend sarah bear.

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and hans made a friend.

it was a trip of ups and downs. navigating new ways of relating and accepting the changes that time has brought upon me. i walked a ton. took some gorgeous photos, and explored new neighborhoods. i hooked a lot. finished a blankie for myself and danced around with newly integrated parts of myself.

all in all, it was an amazing trip. one of my favorite places in the world.

xx,

b

i want this to last forever

i am having a really sweet moment at my friend’s kitchen table, listening to fleet foxes on her record player and knitting/typing. my dog is sleeping on the floor beneath my chair. i can hear the cars driving by on the road outside the window. the sun is hiding behind a cool layer of clouds. life is happening in so many different ways right now.

don’t move.

don’t breathe.

i want to make it last forever.

my favorite person

have you ever met someone that you couldn’t imagine your life without? i am lucky enough to have met one of those people. he is my best friend. my partner and a mutha flippin HAWT pre-fiance!! and we’ve been together two years last monday.

what a lucky girl i am.

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xx,

b

just a moment

in the midst of changing major areas of my life, i am finding out what i am made of. i feel like this year has asked me to call forth more of myself, even more than i thought was there. in a way this makes me feel depressed because i want to be my definition of amazing now! and changing jobs/preparing to move/body stuff/relationships etc has made me realize that i am not so special after all. no more special than the truth of where i am. and that to me is the hardest part of being honest with myself.

sometimes i get these fantasies that i am somewhere else, and that my life is already what i dream it to be. while in reality, i am here and needing to take the action to create my dreams. while i don’t ever want to give up the part of myself that dreams, i do want to be able to see clearly, what my favorite yoga teacher calls the truth of the shape.

it’s hard to see that i am where i am. that i need to grow and change and that i am not already a visionary entrepreneur. that i am still feeling so far away from ever having the life that i see myself having. i don’t want to feel the pain of knowing that i got myself here. at the same time, there is a quiet knowing that i am right where i am supposed to be and that without these feelings i would never change. these feelings are guides pointing me in a new direction. a direction unknown, exciting and scary.

it’s also calling forth a part of myself that i have hidden away. a part that has needed to come out and be integrated into my being. the fearless, take charge, do WHATEVER IT TAKES girl. the girl who goes for what she wants and when things don’t work out as planned, she comes up with another plan and goes for it.

so this is where i am at right now, in this moment. fully embracing what is up for me. not giving into the resistance. allowing.

xx,

b

 

ode to my place of employment

working in a coffee shop supplies me with the most interesting stories about people of all walks of life. here, we have my homeboy who gets about 10 ice tea refills a day, whose not all there, and carries his bird on his shoulder. there’s the guy who pushes his wheelchair, and only sits in it when he’s chillin’ on the sidewalk. there’s the lady who comes in everyday, talking on her cell phone while in line, knowing that we will politely wait for her to finish her convo before helping her. there’s the old guy who is annoying and orders and “cup-ew-chino” and treats us like the help. and don’t get me started on crazy girl. uh-huh.

the flip side is the judge who is sweet and fatherly to me. encouraging of my creative pursuits. the champion boxer who is my second boyfriend. the local band guys that are super chill and cool to chat with. the couple who i hang with on my breaks on saturday mornings who are expecting their first child. the doctor who i ask about his surgeries! and the male hairdresser who i now have a brangelina name with.

all of these people make up where i work. they are hilarious, annoying, warm, goofy, stubborn and lovely. and i couldn’t imagine my workplace without them.

the best part of my job though, are the people i work with. 13 of us make up the staff here and we are all so different, but come together to make this place work. i love coming to work knowing they are going to be here. i love it all. seeing them happy, sad, mad, elated, high on coffee, tired and wired. i love hearing their stories, their points of view, and sometimes even annoying them with my strange, cappy, control freak ways. (but seriously, there is a RIGHT way to do things.) i love laughing with them and learning about our differences and similarities.

i became employed here because i liked hanging here so much, and i still like hanging here after working here a year and some change. i’m sitting here now, with my teeccino, almond breeze latte and getting ready to start my shift, knowing that today will bring a whole different set of things to laugh at, be annoyed with and remember. thanks &al%^$o. in all of your sweet, cluttered, hilarious, no rules self, with xm radio that rarely works properly, i love you. cheers!

xx,

b

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